Night
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Posts
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Posts posted by Night
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Happy Birthday!
plz don't murder my family
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How old is he? In what island?
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Oh and keep the star gene, very important, always check.
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Awesome! Make sure to breed the bad eyes out tho.
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I'd explore the island to look for more nichelings.
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Also, a tip if u wanna get to the home island: always go north, if there isn't a north port, go east.
It's something that I think everyone knows, but, just in case.
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Maybe
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Also Medibang may be cool as well
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Paint Tool Sai? I think it's called like that. I don't use it, but I've heard from it
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Like, nothing, at all? Or am I just getting ignored '-'
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Ok, so nothing I guess
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I've started with chapter 2 any thoughts on it?
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Chapter 1 is now done! Wow, I never thought it could cost that much, at all. So apart from the sisters info dump. How was the chapter? Any specific scenes I need to change?
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8 hours ago, Katumai said:
Alright, I finished it, so to add on to this:
Most of the problems are just not putting periods where they should be or using too many periods, but one thing I noticed was that the descriptions of things happening are a bit too simple, if that makes sense? Like:
Instead of saying 'she slipped and fell' say something along the lines of 'but she stumbled, losing balance and falling to the ground' or something
It more of a personal preference, but I enjoy reading it a lot more than a short description
That's all I've got for now, it's not amazing but it's not bad by any means either, with some work it could be a good story ^^
The simple sentences have always been troubling me, but I'll try to work on that in the future.
Can you give an example of the 'too many periods' and 'not putting periods where it should be' as well? I'd like to develop that.
Thanks for the criticism! It helps a lot.
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8 hours ago, Katumai said:
And a small story thing:
The name 'Night' feels very out of place amongst the more niche (not like the game but the actual word) names that all the other cats have like 'Ghoa', 'Nela' and 'Sereneo'. Not a huge problem, but it did kinda throw me off
The names that the sisters have like 'Night' are supposed to be there for an important reason. It's something that impacted Nela's life and wanted to portray it in her daughters. She's got a little secret 😉
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And of course, I'll edit it when the whole book is done, and when that happens, the next one begins! And that continues until I'm better at writing and maybe, just maybe, I'll take a step further!
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Thank you! I thought of that as well and the chapter isn't over yet so, there will be more scenes involving the personalities of the sisters as well as new mysteries and doubts to Night's story, when I get this chapter done there will be a flashback to months earlier.
Also the comment section is in the doc so if you have any questions or suggestions, leave them there!
Thank you for reading this. Made my day happier :3
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So was the Prologue alright? Can I improve?
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I think it's public now, thanks for pointing that out. I'm still learning about the app.
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So, I've thought of a story for many years and I want to make it real. I won't publish anything anytime soon, but I could want to start learning how to write so maybe one day the world can see it. But I need help, here is the doc to the book. ALotW means: A Laiteyn of the World. It's gonna be a big series( I hope)
Warning : Blood, death, and some gore.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Jqkc-5H7ggB6W7g7NCwJJGB-lHNFcJc-8tZLSTGAX_w/edit?usp=drivesdk
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I'd choose number 1 as well
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On 7/1/2021 at 2:10 AM, Lilytuft said:
My half of an art trade with @Night. Sorry it took so long! (Also I forgot to look at the refrence while drawing the eyes so there's two versions because I really like the one with just green eyes) I had fun learnign to draw water
OMG Thank you! He's so pretty, don't worry about the time tho, it was worth it! I just noticed it here I'm stupid.
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Art dump
in Off Topic
Posted
I forgot this existed, well, time for art!