Breaking Point
Run looked around. She listened, she sniffed the air. Stalker was long gone, it had been an hour since he left. Yet she had to be sure...had to be sure he was gone. That no-one was around.
She looked down at her cubs, feeling a twinge of guilt. Yet as her eyes passed over the one with the crooked snout...the deformed face like his father...the memories flooded back. They haunted her. Now more than ever.
She stood up, and the cubs fell off. They cried, confused and wanting to nurse.
She started to walk away. It'll be better this way. Otherwise they'll grow up with a mother that is afraid an angry every time she looks at them. And I will never have peace. Something inside told her she wouldn't have peace this way either, that she would never feel peace again.
They were crying, calling for her. Bound to attract predators. And if they don't they'll freeze or starve. Not a pretty way to go....no, someone will find them! They'll be adopted. A sinister voice inside interrupted, "and they'll be just like their father. Breeding more misery, literally!" the sneer sounded real to Run as she looked around, startled. But no-one was there except the mewling cubs she was leaving there in the cold.
No, she thought, suddenly stopping, they're my responsibility. I cannot let either of these things happen. I must do what needs to be done. She turned around, wondering how she was ever going to do what she had to do...
She stopped at the crooked-faced cub and stared at him. The memories hit her like a flood, making her want to look away, but she fixed her gaze on him. Fear, anger, hurt, kill. She made a couple practice swipes at the air, growling and snarling, and then leapt at him. Your rage will carry you through this gruesome task...it's what needs to be done.
Suddenly, something hit Run's side, and she was flying sideways. It was all a blur. Something was on-top of her, no, someone. The male! He's back!
"Don't move. Don't even twitch," she felt fangs being pressed against her neck. But she didn't care. She wasn't afraid of dying, maybe that's the best thing for me, the only thing. But I will take this male with me if it's the last thing I do.
She moved one of her paws, calling his bluff. He looked, changing the position of the fangs to a less deadly one. She jerked her head upwards, slamming it against his. He staggered backwards, disoriented. She took the advantage to whirl around and bowl him over, now she was on-top of him, though he was facing her so she wasn't on his back. It was an awkward position, but one of great advantage. His belly was up.
"Now it's your turn. Are you afraid to die?" she asked putting her fangs on his neck.
"No, but it would do no good at this moment," he answered.
"Why'd you attack me?" she asked, wanting to know the answer before she killed him.
"You were going to kill those cubs," he answered, sincerity in his eyes and voice. But sabers never interfere with other saber's unless it's in their own best interest!
"It's not your business," she said, pushing her fangs into him a bit, so he could feel the sharp point, "is it?"
"I've seen enough evil done on this mountain," he answered. Evil? Pfft. There's no such thing! Only what huts and what helps, what makes you feel happy and upset.
Run saw movement out of the corner of her eye. It was his paw. She was about to impale his neck when she realized something. It wasn't a claw. The male that had done the deplorable thing to her had double claws. So it isn't him. Of course not! What did I think? He was back from the dead?
She momentarily lifted her fangs from his neck, so this is just an innocent...no. Nobody is innocent, and no male is innocent, certainly not one with the crooked face. She was just about to bring them back down when he headed her, pressing his advantage. She was disoriented, but didn't stumble back or let up. He scratched her face. She could tell it was out of desperation, not of spite. But she didn't budge. He drew his back-legs under her and head-butted her again, kicking up with the force of his legs. She was sent into the air, and then hit the thin layer of snow, landing amongst gravel and stone.
How did the tables turn so quickly? She thought, body aching. She forced herself to her feet, confusion and fear turning to simmering rage. She ignored her pain and whirled around. The male had his back turned to her, strange, but a good advantage for me. She ran a bit and then jumped at him. But he dodged just in time. She landed once more on the hard, gravel filled ground.
And then, a screech. She tried to place it, is someone calling for help? But it didn't sound like the screech of a saber. There was movement behind her, a thump of a landing.
"Nooo!" it was the voice of the male, what's he crying over?
Run rolled onto her back, unable to get up again. She spotted nothing unusual. But then she looked where the male was looking, in the sky. That's when she realized what the screech was. I've only heard of this happening, from Strawberry and Mimime, back when we were like family.
It had taken one of her cubs, well at least now I don't have to kill them... But there was a sadness developing inside of her, why? I was going to kill them myself! She was angry at her weakness. Which one did it take, which one? She rolled back the other way and forced herself to stand, slowly she walked over to the two remaining cubs, now huddling next to the male as he held them beside him.
She looked closely, and saw only the two males remaining. The most innocent one, the one I might've left, is dead. Because of me. My own cub! I was going to kill my own cubs! I'm a monster. "Are you happy now?" asked the male critically.
She broke down into sobbing.
She could see his shock through the tears, and the confusion in the cubs' eyes.
She collapsed before the male, exhausted and tired of life. Knowing she had become someone she had never wanted to be. "Please, kill me and raise my cubs."
The male shook his head, "No, there's hope for you because you have said such a thing. You see yourself and know there is nothing good in you. It is those who think there is nothing bad in them that are truly gone."
"You don't understand," Run said, "I can't live with myself and I can't force others to live with me. I'm a monster, I'll snap again."
"You're not forcing me," said the male, "I choose to."
Run didn't understand, but she wasn't going to try and force the male to reject her. What if I get angry and go too far? So she simply cried herself to sleep, it was the only thing she could do.
(also as always the picture isn't perfect)