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Ask Angel About LGBTQ+


wikipedia [he/him]

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A very sudden and, well, unnecessary jump back to people not understanding/not supporting;

People will be people. It may simply be that they don't understand something -- Not understanding something naturally evokes fear or dislike. We can't exactly force people to understand.

But hey, at least there are people who understand and support =^w^=

I'm here trying to understand myself. At first I thought I was straight, but uh... look where I've gotten myself. I started off not understanding the concept, and -- while not discriminating or anything -- therefore not supporting it. It was just me 'not minding' and not paying attention.

but uh.... hehe... here i am with a crush on a pretty close friend who happens to be a girl.

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12 hours ago, Broken said:

How do you know if you are a certain sexuality?

I feel like I might be lesbian because I'm attracted to this girl on my class but I have a feeling she hates me. 

sexuality is a very strange and fluid thing; some people don't realise they might be, for example, bisexual until they're 50 but somebody else might realise they're bisexual at 14 :)

i'd say, try out some labels and see what you think suits you best :D

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3 hours ago, Broken said:

@wikipedia (angel)

 

I feel like I might be non-binary but I'm not sure. Do you know how to tell if you are non-binary?

I’m non-binary. I can help you out. :)
I came to terms with my enby identity when I realized that for the longest time I didn’t feel like a man or a woman. I always felt like that I’d be a lot better if I looked more androgyne and less femme— and, well, express what I truly felt! 
What do you feel right now? Androgyne? Feminine? Masculine?

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6 minutes ago, Goggles-kun said:

I’m non-binary. I can help you out. :)
I came to terms with my enby identity when I realized that for the longest time I didn’t feel like a man or a woman. I always felt like that I’d be a lot better if I looked more androgyne and less femme— and, well, express what I truly felt! 
What do you feel right now? Androgyne? Feminine? Masculine?

Well... I don't like girly stuff. Like dresses and makeup. I know I don't feel like I am masculine and will never be masculine. But I also feel like being feminine means that you have to like girly stuff. So... I feel like I would prefer being called they/them so I don't get pushed into the feminine community were you have to be girly. If that makes sense. 

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6 minutes ago, Broken said:

Well... I don't like girly stuff. Like dresses and makeup. I know I don't feel like I am masculine and will never be masculine. But I also feel like being feminine means that you have to like girly stuff. So... I feel like I would prefer being called they/them so I don't get pushed into the feminine community were you have to be girly. If that makes sense. 

You don't have to like girly stuff

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8 minutes ago, Broken said:

Well... I don't like girly stuff. Like dresses and makeup. I know I don't feel like I am masculine and will never be masculine. But I also feel like being feminine means that you have to like girly stuff. So... I feel like I would prefer being called they/them so I don't get pushed into the feminine community were you have to be girly. If that makes sense. 

I mean, what qualifies as 'girly stuff'? It doesn't necessarily have to depend on what you like or dislike, right? It's like how some girls get annoyed that superhero toys end up in the 'boys section' and how some guys are annoyed that dolls and cute stuffed animals generally end up in the 'girls section'. And there's no 'non-binary' section in any of the toy stores I know.

To be honest, how is gender relevant at all? Like, your gender doesn't effect your sexuality or your general personality, does it?  I don't know.

not being rude... sorry if that's what it sounds like

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1 minute ago, CanDLinkZz said:

I mean, what qualifies as 'girly stuff'? It doesn't necessarily have to depend on what you like or dislike, right? It's like how some girls get annoyed that superhero toys end up in the 'boys section' and how some guys are annoyed that dolls and cute stuffed animals generally end up in the 'girls section'. And there's no 'non-binary' section in any of the toy stores I know.

To be honest, how is gender relevant at all? Like, your gender doesn't effect your sexuality or your general personality, does it?  I don't know.

not being rude... sorry if that's what it sounds like

Makes sense. For example:

I used to have this friend when I lived in my old neighborhood, and she basically acted like a boy. She had mostly boy friends, she did stuff that most wouldn't deem 'appropriate' for girls (like, we would literally sit in her backyard when it would rain and just watch the worms. She loved bugs, even had a praying mantis living in a tree that she would visit everyday at the park. Pretty sweet, she would just walk up to the tree and it was almost always waiting for her). She even had a fricken motorcycle (she wasn't old enough to ride it, but this was two years ago and she was 16, so she can probably ride it now). But, BOY, did she love 'girly' clothes. She'd wear skirts pretty much every day, don't think I ever saw her wear actual pants. She was also just covered head-to-toe in pink, she even asked her parents if she could dye her hair pink once, but they just said 'that's a bit to far'. 

Basically, when I was 14 I had a strange friend who I actually loved to death and miss a lot, who was a strange feminine-but also the physical embodiment of 'boy' mixed together.

I have no idea why I told you all this, but I got reminded, so there's my weird little story that's the closest thing I can actually apply to what you're saying.

None of what I just said made any sense.

K bye

(Hold up; is it weird that I had a 16 year old lesbian who nearly got hit by cars several times and never threw away her trash as my best friend when I was 14? Dang, my life has been strange-)

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8 hours ago, CanDLinkZz said:

I mean, what qualifies as 'girly stuff'? It doesn't necessarily have to depend on what you like or dislike, right? It's like how some girls get annoyed that superhero toys end up in the 'boys section' and how some guys are annoyed that dolls and cute stuffed animals generally end up in the 'girls section'. And there's no 'non-binary' section in any of the toy stores I know.

To be honest, how is gender relevant at all? Like, your gender doesn't effect your sexuality or your general personality, does it?  I don't know.

not being rude... sorry if that's what it sounds like

Well... gender technically does effect your sexuality. If you prefer to be a girl and like girls, that makes you a lesbians. If no one had gender there would be no sexuality. And for your personality, it all depends on euphoria and dysphoria. If you're not happy to be, say a boy, and it would make you happier if you were a girl, then it does effect your personality. 

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Also, I guess what with the girly stuff is that... I don't want to get stereotyped into liking girly stuff because I am a girl. I look like a girl. I've had lots of people come up to me saying, "Hey [real name], why aren't you girly? I mean, you wear mascara and have long hair."

And, it does look like I wear mascara, but my eyelashes are just generally long and dark. And my hair is long, but I'm planning on cutting it really short. I guess it's also because when I was younger I liked dresses and princesses. And now people think I still like that stuff because I liked it when I was younger. 

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6 minutes ago, Broken said:

Also, I guess what with the girly stuff is that... I don't want to get stereotyped into liking girly stuff because I am a girl. I look like a girl. I've had lots of people come up to me saying, "Hey [real name], why aren't you girly? I mean, you wear mascara and have long hair."

And, it does look like I wear mascara, but my eyelashes are just generally long and dark. And my hair is long, but I'm planning on cutting it really short. I guess it's also because when I was younger I liked dresses and princesses. And now people think I still like that stuff because I liked it when I was younger. 

Not every girl likes girly stuff. It's perfectly fine to like whatever you want. If your likes and dislikes are the only thing making you feel this way, then maybe it's not a time for an identity crisis yet. (If there's something else, then you can start considering this stuff)

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I kept up the facade, but honestly, I didn't feel like a girl for a long time, either. Dressing the part and moving the right way was conductive to getting what I wanted

That is, people not asking too many questions about certain non girly interests. My answer came down to having been taught a hateful stereotype of what women are. You can like mostly "male" things and not be lesser or superior for it. But that doesn't have to be yours.

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9 minutes ago, HD Firestar said:

Not every girl likes girly stuff. It's perfectly fine to like whatever you want. If your likes and dislikes are the only thing making you feel this way, then maybe it's not a time for an identity crisis yet. (If there's something else, then you can start considering this stuff)

Yeah, that's correct. It's why I dislike the terms "masculine" and "feminine", because there are all those stereotypical boy and girl things attached to them. I always assumed that gender is more of a feeling. Do I like being female: Yes, although there are a lot of backsides to it, like all these expectations that you like pink, make-up, etc. Would I like to be a guy: No, although there's no particular reason. Would I like to be androgynous: Sometimes, but very seldom.

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I think that you can like everything you want and still be your gender. It just depends on what you feel most comfortable as (sometimes in terms of body, but not always) when you think of yourself.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I need revive this thread because I figured Angel would know something about this!! (Bump? @wikipedia [he/him])


I must confess that I am not so sure about my own sexuality anymore. Of course, I have a boyfriend who I love dearly, but my “”ironic”” attraction to women has actually become a desire. I enjoy thinking about having a fulfilling relationship with a woman and I’ve developed crushes on women OBVIOUSLY 2D WOMEN COUGH multiple times before. I don’t think I am bisexual or lesbian because I am non-binary, and because I also enjoy thinking of having relationships with people out of the gender binary. I don’t think I’m pansexual or polysexual. Any idea what this is?

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1 hour ago, Goggles-kun said:

I need revive this thread because I figured Angel would know something about this!! (Bump? @wikipedia [he/him])


I must confess that I am not so sure about my own sexuality anymore. Of course, I have a boyfriend who I love dearly, but my “”ironic”” attraction to women has actually become a desire. I enjoy thinking about having a fulfilling relationship with a woman and I’ve developed crushes on women OBVIOUSLY 2D WOMEN COUGH multiple times before. I don’t think I am bisexual or lesbian because I am non-binary, and because I also enjoy thinking of having relationships with people out of the gender binary. I don’t think I’m pansexual or polysexual. Any idea what this is?

Well, you can be bisexual or lesbian if you are nonbinary, for one, but you can choose whatever term makes you happiest. You could potentially be omnisexual- 

Omnisexuality often goes hand in hand with pansexuality, although the two are separate identities. The main difference between the two is that pansexuals do not ''see'' gender, or do not care about gender (but can still have gender preferences). On the other hand, omnisexuals do see gender, but are still attracted to all genders and are often attracted to people because of their gender.

 

Alternatively, you could be diamoric!

Diamoric is a term used by some non-binary people to describe their orientation, which does not fit into the similar/opposite gender attraction dichotomy due to being a uniquely non-binary experience.

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10 hours ago, wikipedia [he/him] said:

Well, you can be bisexual or lesbian if you are nonbinary, for one, but you can choose whatever term makes you happiest. You could potentially be omnisexual- 

Omnisexuality often goes hand in hand with pansexuality, although the two are separate identities. The main difference between the two is that pansexuals do not ''see'' gender, or do not care about gender (but can still have gender preferences). On the other hand, omnisexuals do see gender, but are still attracted to all genders and are often attracted to people because of their gender.

 

Alternatively, you could be diamoric!

Diamoric is a term used by some non-binary people to describe their orientation, which does not fit into the similar/opposite gender attraction dichotomy due to being a uniquely non-binary experience.

Thanks! I’ll look more into both of those :)

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So I filled out a questionnaire for people gathering some information about aromantics. What is sensual attraction?

It just wanted to know whether I make a point of labeling other possible attractions anyway, so it was a clear no, but...

What's the deal with that, @wikipedia [he/him]?

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4 minutes ago, Spacestar TheThundersuncat said:

So I filled out a questionnaire for people gathering some information about aromantics. What is sensual attraction?

It just wanted to know whether I make a point of labeling other possible attractions anyway, so it was a clear no, but...

What's the deal with that, @wikipedia [he/him]?

Oh, I might be able to answer that.

Sensual attraction is different from sexual attraction; I believe sensual attraction is physical gratification towards someone (I.e. hugs, kisses, etc.). Though this definition may include sexual desires, most people who may describe themselves as sensual do not feel this.

I may be wrong.

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4 minutes ago, Goggles-kun said:

Oh, I might be able to answer that.

Sensual attraction is different from sexual attraction; I believe sensual attraction is physical gratification towards someone (I.e. hugs, kisses, etc.). Though this definition may include sexual desires, most people who may describe themselves as sensual do not feel this.

I may be wrong.

Thank you. I'm just so confused about it, though. I don't know what would motivate someone to hug or kiss a person. I just... don't. The lines seem so blurry with these definitions

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1 minute ago, Spacestar TheThundersuncat said:

Thank you. I'm just so confused about it, though. I don't know what would motivate someone to hug or kiss a person. I just... don't. The lines seem so blurry with these definitions

This should help!

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  • 4 months later...

I am having a bit of a - well, I can't call it a crisis since its not something bad or stressful - self-discovery phase right now and it is very confusing, send help.

When I started realizing that I was not only attracted to men but also to women my first thought that I was "faking it". That out of all people I simply couldn't be part of the LGBTQ+ and that I was imagining things. Now just to clarifiy this was simply because I was still quite young and a dumbass.

Recently I developed bigger interest in nonbinary and genderfluid identities. I realized that I am attracted to people regardless of their gender identity. Now, however, a new question has arisen, concerning my own identity.

I have never felt uncomfortable with being seen as female. The pronouns don't bother me either. I think that I feel female most of the time (although I'm not sure about how I can feel my gender yet). But here's the thing: Sometimes I don't want to present as female. I recently started watching a series with a magical character who can shapeshift into whatever gender they'd like to have in that moment and I'd like to have that opportunity as well.

Sometimes I want to look androgynous. I even had a phase once where I really wanted to pass as male (very short-lifed though and I currently very much dislike the idea of presenting as masculine). But I don't know whether I really want to be androgynous/nonbinary or if I would just like to look like that. I don't know if I genuinely feel this way or if I am misinterpreting things.

Right now I am just pretty confused about this whole thing. Because I really like being female but when I read something along the lines of "They had gotten bored of presenting as male for so long" I kind of felt like it resonated with me.


 


 

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10 hours ago, mhiahia said:

I am having a bit of a - well, I can't call it a crisis since its not something bad or stressful - self-discovery phase right now and it is very confusing, send help.

When I started realizing that I was not only attracted to men but also to women my first thought that I was "faking it". That out of all people I simply couldn't be part of the LGBTQ+ and that I was imagining things. Now just to clarifiy this was simply because I was still quite young and a dumbass.

Recently I developed bigger interest in nonbinary and genderfluid identities. I realized that I am attracted to people regardless of their gender identity. Now, however, a new question has arisen, concerning my own identity.

I have never felt uncomfortable with being seen as female. The pronouns don't bother me either. I think that I feel female most of the time (although I'm not sure about how I can feel my gender yet). But here's the thing: Sometimes I don't want to present as female. I recently started watching a series with a magical character who can shapeshift into whatever gender they'd like to have in that moment and I'd like to have that opportunity as well.

Sometimes I want to look androgynous. I even had a phase once where I really wanted to pass as male (very short-lifed though and I currently very much dislike the idea of presenting as masculine). But I don't know whether I really want to be androgynous/nonbinary or if I would just like to look like that. I don't know if I genuinely feel this way or if I am misinterpreting things.

Right now I am just pretty confused about this whole thing. Because I really like being female but when I read something along the lines of "They had gotten bored of presenting as male for so long" I kind of felt like it resonated with me.


 


 

I'm not a big expert on this, but I see myself as a demigirl. Who sometimes feels like being a female and some days I say, screw gender. Or sometimes both. So you're either a demigirl, or by the way you described it, genderfluid. Where you can change from feeling like a female, to feeling like you're non-binary. Hope I helped, I'm not the best at explaining things. 

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