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Posted

"I called the ghost a smart cookie,"

-10 seconds later-

"I keep complimenting this ghost, I just called him hailarious,"

-My sister

--------------------------------------------------------

"I decided that it's time to sell my personal diary,"

-My sister (IN BITLIFE NOT REAL LIFE)

--------------------------------------------------------

"Is Jared alive"

"No"

"oh"

-My classmates

--------------------------------------------------------

"Miss I want to go to the gasoline and just s n i f f it,"

-My classmate

 

Posted
5 hours ago, BirbMaster said:

"I decided that it's time to sell my personal diary,"

-My sister (IN BITLIFE NOT REAL LIFE)

 

To clarify more, my sister said that while playing bitlife

Posted

“sand taste good”

“yum sand”

“behold the sand”

“i like sandy sandy”

“lovely sand restaurant”

“your weird”

 

 

-opinions from people when i opened a sand restaurant on Early Access WoF (Roblox)

  • Love 1
Posted

“It’s time for me to die of this horrible sickness, son. I hope you live a happy life without m-”

“Hold on dad, I’ll be right back.” *comes back with his bag*

“Wh-”

“Don’t worry, you be okay soon enough.” *pulls a charger out of the bag, plugs the charger and puts the charger’s charging thing where you plug it into his dads mouth.*

Posted
8 minutes ago, Pale said:

“My opinion offended you? You should see the ones in my head.”

51sdVJEnsdL._AC_UX466_.jpg.7419480f07e0dc31b011581566c36b68.jpg

i want one of these shirts so bad LOL

  • Like 1
Posted

*me and my friends making a murder scene in brookhaven*

me: OH YEAH! ITS TIME FOR BABY WITH A GUN EPISODE 2 SEASON 7!!!! YES SEASON 7!!!!!!

other guy: oooh this looks interesting im going to film this and be camera man *gets a camera*

my friend: AND DON’T FOROGT BABY WITH A BOMB!!!!!!!! *starts bombing the place*

me: YEAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *starts shooting people with a riffle/gun and causing chaos at the same time*

*everybody goes crazy and camera man disappears*

me: OH NO! CAMERA DUDE DISAPPEARED! OH WELL! TIME TO SHOOT MORE PEOPLE AHHAAHHAHAHAHAH *goes insane*

my friend: BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB *bombs the whole place*

Posted
On 2/23/2020 at 1:12 AM, MATТRESS said:

"Now it's just gonna be more matching suspenders, and macklemore haircuts, and..."

*gagging noises*

"Oh, don't gag, honey! Macklemore's not that bad!"

"No, why do you all smell like Icy-Hot?!"

 

And...

 

"Oh my gosh, so he's in a coma, you guys!"

"No...he's just sleeping...he'll wake up soon."

"Please pray for Chab, life lovers, it's still very serious!"

"No, not at all, it's just a minorly fractured tibia, so..."

"Will he loose the leg?"

"No...?"

"Will he hacky again?"

I don't understand the question...?"

"Please leave, please leave...GO!"

 

oh my gosh loving lyfe i keep meaning to rewatch that

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