very serious tactics

[Spacestar TheThundersuncat]

Incomplete list on how to make someone avoid you forever, including myself. Add your ideas (or possibly, please don't)

If you live in the country, pretend to recognize a random stranger. 

Mirror some person on the table someone else dislikes. Only take on their movement patterns when your target is looking.

Make conversation with your nearest introvert on public transportation.

Ask obvious stupid questions to showcase your truly impressive impressionable ignorance at random intervals.

Make random references and pretend not to know that you do. You've never heard of that show. Yes, really.

Keep subtly switching accents.

Claim not to remember basic information, but only about yourself. 

Stand just that one bit too far in someone's personal space. 

Quote Machiavelli at people. 

Drag spacecat out at 2 am because you love abandoned buildings.

Make sure your advice comes down to: but have you considered being more of a/n (unspeakable words)? Always. That's the important part.

For some reason be unable to know what you want at any given time. Pasta or pizza tomorrow? Life threatening decision

Vibrate with negative energy and scare all your pets and young children.

At that note, treat whoever you encounter like a 5 year old. Refer to adults your age as "boy", or "girl". Learn to smile the smile that tempts people into breaking their fingers and your jaw.

Gratiously share your phone calls with everyone. This should take place for at least 3 hours every day.

Question whatever people are wearing in regards to the temperature outside. Don't stop. Repeat yourself ten times. Start insulting people for their awful life decisions and inability to admit weakness. Cause a scene.

Learn the noises and gestures that specifically upset your target. Revel in the knowledge that no one will take their complains seriously.

Make sure to assert your mental superiority over everyone. There can only be one (3). Don't be subtle, though. 

Question the cornerstones of someone's existence and be offended at any offense taken. Why are they so emotional and impulsive?

Tell people all the negative traits they share with your parents. This is not creepy at all.

Insist they have a crush on a random person of your choice.

Become their friend just to make passive agressive remarks outside the public eye, forever.

Never pick up your phone, email, or otherwise respond unless it's Tuesday or something.

Make a list of words to mercilessly overuse.

Either insist they have some sort of trauma or deny any suffering they ever felt. 

Change your opinion on something you've agreed on (say, the details of a meeting), every time you speak. People love surprises. 

Insist they secretly like something that causes them obvious discomfort.

Keep telling people they talk too much. Analyze every sentence in real time. For extra effectiveness, switch between "you complain too much", and "why do you never talk about your life?".

[Spacestar TheThundersuncat]

No, that's tacky. It has to seem like A Thing You Do.

[georgie]

• kill them
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•  

[Aether]

4 hours ago, heyitsgeorgie said:

• kill them
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•  

Thanks for the advice!