Leaving the Oasis (MSM OC story) (rewrite!)

[BirbMonster]

I have abandoned the old version of this story... it wasn't that good, and I lost intrest in it, so I decided to remake it. 

[BirbMonster]

Ember pushed herself away from her desk, spinning around in her revolving chair as her head left behind a tiny trail of smoke. She angrily buried her head in her warm hands, crumpling another piece of paper and throwing it into the wastepaper basket near her desk, which was already overflowing. Still, she just couldn't get any ideas to be good. This was the worst writer's block she had in a long time.

To her left was her cosy bed, above it an array of books- at the top, copies of the ones she had written and published herself. She wrote stories set in the past, with characters both fictional and from real, true tales as old as time, from the very first monsters pioneering the continent, to the raging Cataclysm tearing through it and nearly killing off her own kind, to the far more recent Fiddlement War. Though being so young, she'd only published three of them.

The small Kayna decided to take a rest for a bit. She slipped off her chair and leaned outside her window, taking in the fresh, salty air of Fire Oasis. She let it hang open as she settled down on her bed, leaning against the wall with a sigh.

Her rest was soon interrupted by a gentle tapping on the door. Who would be coming to her castle room? Probably one of her younger siblings, or parents. She was 23 and had moved out of her parent's much larger home, but she still got to see her family often.

Grumbling slightly, she reached for the keys and twisted the door open, revealing a familiar Woolabee with black horns and big blue eyes- her little sister, Cheviot.

"Mom and dad wanted to call you," Cheviot said, without even greeting her sister first.

"Hmm? Why?"

"To meet again, remember? Nobody's seen you in like, two weeks!"

Ember flinched the tiniest amount. Had it really been that long? Time flew, didn't it? She followed Cheviot down the winding corridors, passing only a few monsters. Everyone was probably outside right now- evening was the time when the residents of Fire Oasis liked to do that. Though it was already setting, it was still warm- for the whole day, the scorching sun had been boiling the ground. The colourful glass outside shimmered in the bright orange light that lit the busy plaza between the castle and the shoreline, illuminating the faces of happy monsters.

The area that Cheviot led her to was a sort of bar and resturant, mostly outdoors but sheltered by a roof made of wood and large palm leaves. She noticed her father- a stocky Kayna with a yellow glow and distinctive spikes on his chin, that resembeled a beard that a Flum Ox or some other species may have. He was smoking a cigarette and sitting next to his friends, laughing and sharing a story that Ember had heard from him many times before.

"And then, I struck the boat with my flaming hands, watching as it all burned down... Ember! How great to see you again!"

"So this is another of ye kids, huh, Ves?" a scruffy-looking Congle with unusually dark fur asked, turning his eyestalks to Ember. "Have they heard that story of yours, eh?"

"Maaany times," Cheviot responded. "He always told it!"

"Well, Spider here is hearing it for the first time, so I think he should. If you're so bored of it you don't have to listen, kid," the tall Kayna responded, giving Cheviot a friendly cuff behind the horns. She groaned and pounced away, scowling at her father.

"So, Ember," her father addressed her as she sat down next to him. "Still considering that whole thing? Moving to Fire Haven?"
"Fire Haven, huh?" the Congle, who seemed to be named Spider, butted in. "Your kids are truly leaving the nest, aren't they, Vesuvius?"
"I left my home island too when I was her age," Vesuvius explained. "I came from Light Island to here,"
"Then at least she'll be close compared to how far you went. Haven's the nearest island over, Light's on the other side of the known Monster World, is it?"
The large Kayna responded by nodding.

The conversation was interrupted by a Rare Pango sitting on Vesuvius' other side. This was Icicle- Ember's mother, named for her sharp, pale blue spikes. She was carrying a glass of a popular drink, especially in the Oasis- Tropical Slime, a juice-like beverage served often in coconut shells.
"Oh Vesuvius," the Pango sighed, pausing to take sips of her drink. "Telling your story again, dear? Well I'm sure your friend likes it so far, right?"
"Yeah. Would you like to sit with us, Icey?"
"Icey? Surprised you haven't come up with that one yet,"

Chuckling to herself about her parent's playful banter, Ember sat up and moved closer to the edge of the cliff. Near the spot where most of her family was- her parents and one of her siblings- the glassy terrain of the island came to a curved stop, where it sloped sharply into crashing teal waves. It was also very close to the beach, a spot surrounded by two cliffs that the founders had purposely built so monsters could be close to the ocean.

Ember noticed a figure sitting on the edge. She could immediately tell who it was- her brother, Molysite. He looked almost identical to Vesuvius, albeit a lot smaller in stature, like Ember and their mother, and without the strange beard-spikes (that normally only Rares and Epics of their kind had).
"Hey, Mol," Ember smiled, sitting next to her younger brother. She was the oldest of the trio, and Molysite was the middle child. He hasn't quite moved out yet, being just under 19, and Cheviot was still in her later teen years.
"How are you doing?" she asked politely.
"I'm good. Made another mask," Molysite smiled, holding up his latest creation. It resembled a Mirrored Bluster Bunny- a version of the little slipper-like critters on Cold Island, expect they resided in the Mirror Dimension.
"Pretty cool, as usual,"
"How has writing been going for you?" Molysite asked.
"Not well. I never have any good ideas,"
"Mhm... wait, what is that?"
"What?"
Molysite grabbed his sister and pointed towards a spot on the horizon. There, was an ominous, looming boat- coming towards the Oasis.

 

[Loxfeaf]

35 minutes ago, Mushroom Frog said:

Ember pushed herself away from her desk, spinning around in her revolving chair as her head left behind a tiny trail of smoke. She angrily buried her head in her warm hands, crumpling another piece of paper and throwing it into the wastepaper basket near her desk, which was already overflowing. Still, she just couldn't get any ideas to be good. This was the worst writer's block she had in a long time.

To her left was her cosy bed, above it an array of books- at the top, copies of the ones she had written and published herself. She wrote stories set in the past, with characters both fictional and from real, true tales as old as time, from the very first monsters pioneering the continent, to the raging Cataclysm tearing through it and nearly killing off her own kind, to the far more recent Fiddlement War. Though being so young, she'd only published three of them.

The small Kayna decided to take a rest for a bit. She slipped off her chair and leaned outside her window, taking in the fresh, salty air of Fire Oasis. She let it hang open as she settled down on her bed, leaning against the wall with a sigh.

Her rest was soon interrupted by a gentle tapping on the door. Who would be coming to her castle room? Probably one of her younger siblings, or parents. She was 23 and had moved out of her parent's much larger home, but she still got to see her family often.

Grumbling slightly, she reached for the keys and twisted the door open, revealing a familiar Woolabee with black horns and big blue eyes- her little sister, Cheviot.

"Mom and dad wanted to call you," Cheviot said, without even greeting her sister first.

"Hmm? Why?"

"To meet again, remember? Nobody's seen you in like, two weeks!"

Ember flinched the tiniest amount. Had it really been that long? Time flew, didn't it? She followed Cheviot down the winding corridors, passing only a few monsters. Everyone was probably outside right now- evening was the time when the residents of Fire Oasis liked to do that. Though it was already setting, it was still warm- for the whole day, the scorching sun had been boiling the ground. The colourful glass outside shimmered in the bright orange light that lit the busy plaza between the castle and the shoreline, illuminating the faces of happy monsters.

The area that Cheviot led her to was a sort of bar and resturant, mostly outdoors but sheltered by a roof made of wood and large palm leaves. She noticed her father- a stocky Kayna with a yellow glow and distinctive spikes on his chin, that resembeled a beard that a Flum Ox or some other species may have. He was smoking a cigarette and sitting next to his friends, laughing and sharing a story that Ember had heard from him many times before.

"And then, I struck the boat with my flaming hands, watching as it all burned down... Ember! How great to see you again!"

"So this is another of ye kids, huh, Ves?" a scruffy-looking Congle with unusually dark fur asked, turning his eyestalks to Ember. "Have they heard that story of yours, eh?"

"Maaany times," Cheviot responded. "He always told it!"

"Well, Spider here is hearing it for the first time, so I think he should. If you're so bored of it you don't have to listen, kid," the tall Kayna responded, giving Cheviot a friendly cuff behind the horns. She groaned and pounced away, scowling at her father.

"So, Ember," her father addressed her as she sat down next to him. "Still considering that whole thing? Moving to Fire Haven?"
"Fire Haven, huh?" the Congle, who seemed to be named Spider, butted in. "Your kids are truly leaving the nest, aren't they, Vesuvius?"
"I left my home island too when I was her age," Vesuvius explained. "I came from Light Island to here,"
"Then at least she'll be close compared to how far you went. Haven's the nearest island over, Light's on the other side of the known Monster World, is it?"
The large Kayna responded by nodding.

The conversation was interrupted by a Rare Pango sitting on Vesuvius' other side. This was Icicle- Ember's mother, named for her sharp, pale blue spikes. She was carrying a glass of a popular drink, especially in the Oasis- Tropical Slime, a juice-like beverage served often in coconut shells.
"Oh Vesuvius," the Pango sighed, pausing to take sips of her drink. "Telling your story again, dear? Well I'm sure your friend likes it so far, right?"
"Yeah. Would you like to sit with us, Icey?"
"Icey? Surprised you haven't come up with that one yet,"

Chuckling to herself about her parent's playful banter, Ember sat up and moved closer to the edge of the cliff. Near the spot where most of her family was- her parents and one of her siblings- the glassy terrain of the island came to a curved stop, where it sloped sharply into crashing teal waves. It was also very close to the beach, a spot surrounded by two cliffs that the founders had purposely built so monsters could be close to the ocean.

Ember noticed a figure sitting on the edge. She could immediately tell who it was- her brother, Molysite. He looked almost identical to Vesuvius, albeit a lot smaller in stature, like Ember and their mother, and without the strange beard-spikes (that normally only Rares and Epics of their kind had).
"Hey, Mol," Ember smiled, sitting next to her younger brother. She was the oldest of the trio, and Molysite was the middle child. He hasn't quite moved out yet, being just under 19, and Cheviot was still in her later teen years.
"How are you doing?" she asked politely.
"I'm good. Made another mask," Molysite smiled, holding up his latest creation. It resembled a Mirrored Bluster Bunny- a version of the little slipper-like critters on Cold Island, expect they resided in the Mirror Dimension.
"Pretty cool, as usual,"
"How has writing been going for you?" Molysite asked.
"Not well. I never have any good ideas,"
"Mhm... wait, what is that?"
"What?"
Molysite grabbed his sister and pointed towards a spot on the horizon. There, was an ominous, looming boat- coming towards the Oasis.

 

You're such a good writer! I think this version is better.