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Renio2490

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so right now probably shouldn't be me all dead talking to people but sCreW it

have you ever noticed that I delete a lot of my topics?...well at least I think I do. I do that because I feel like I'm clogging the off topic section.
I guess I've miserable on the forums right now because I'm miserable right now in general (not related to the last thing I said but).
I'm tired and sick and dead on the outside and the inside
it'd be so great if there were actually people here

quick note: I'll probably only be on here at night because I'm nocturnal

also I need sleep

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2 hours ago, Renio2490 said:

so right now probably shouldn't be me all dead talking to people but sCreW it

have you ever noticed that I delete a lot of my topics?...well at least I think I do. I do that because I feel like I'm clogging the off topic section.
I guess I've miserable on the forums right now because I'm miserable right now in general (not related to the last thing I said but).
I'm tired and sick and dead on the outside and the inside
it'd be so great if there were actually people here

quick note: I'll probably only be on here at night because I'm nocturnal

also I need sleep

Hey Renio, I know I shouldn’t be on right now and posting here but honestly I shouldn’t leave you hanging.. I’m going through a lot of misery myself including insomnia.. I think what you should do is come talk to me around Discord and I suggest please take a break from the forums. If you think I’m the ONLY person here who you truly appreciate and trust, then I am all for talking with you, just PLEASE keep in mind that I am NOT a therapist! I am only here just to be there for others when they are down.

I also want to apologize for how rude towards you I’ve been and very hateful around the forums, clearly it’s a sign that I need to take a long break and find something else to do, should you take a break and do something else, I HIGHLY recommend that you do!

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Take a break if you need it, and maybe do something that you love. If you feel really miserable, you could open up to a friend/family member. I hope all goes well for you.

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Insomnia usually elevates depression's symptoms in most people, or can induce the same state in those who don't have it. If you're also stuck with anhedonia, finding more time fillers might not help. Please rest and try to avoid stress triggers. Seriously, you need to sleep, or some things that improve mood can't really happen in the brain :(

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Oh dear

i think my only problem here is that I haven’t eaten since I woke up and don’t plan to until 4 pm

 I stayed up until 3 am last night

at least I woke up at 11 am

I’m still tired

 

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1 hour ago, spacecat at 2.9 said:

Insomnia usually elevates depression's symptoms in most people, or can induce the same state in those who don't have it. If you're also stuck with anhedonia, finding more time fillers might not help. Please rest and try to avoid stress triggers. Seriously, you need to sleep, or some things that improve mood can't really happen in the brain :(

I had to search up what anhedonia is and uh okay

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I’d also like to point out I have no help with whatever I have because I hate my stupid school counselor or whatever because she makes me feel worse walking out of the room then I did walking in

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It's okay if you need a break. We'll miss you, but we will understand. that's exactly what I said to Silver isn't it? And don't feel that you're clogging up the Off-Topic section, you can post as much as you want. Nobody's gonna get angry at you for posting too much!

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2 hours ago, Skysplash8 said:

that's exactly what I said to Silver isn't it?

Honestly at this point you could just say it to anyone considering how many breaks they’re taking from this place.. :/ I still come on regularly, but only to lurk, I’ll still be there for you guys if you need me!(contact me on DA or Discord though since I will mostly be on there, plus I’m only really on to talk to @Raybeams through PM and she actually seems like a really nice person to vent to!)

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2 hours ago, Renio2490 said:

I’d also like to point out I have no help with whatever I have because I hate my stupid school counselor or whatever because she makes me feel worse walking out of the room then I did walking in

Oh dear maybe you need to consider finding a different one if she really means worse to you..

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3 hours ago, spacecat at 2.9 said:

Insomnia usually elevates depression's symptoms in most people, or can induce the same state in those who don't have it. If you're also stuck with anhedonia, finding more time fillers might not help. Please rest and try to avoid stress triggers. Seriously, you need to sleep, or some things that improve mood can't really happen in the brain :(

That’s what I’ve been TRYING TO FRIGGIN DO! But I’m crazy and it won’t ever happen until I sleep on the hour I last slept...

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21 hours ago, SilverTheNicheling said:

That’s what I’ve been TRYING TO FRIGGIN DO! But I’m crazy and it won’t ever happen until I sleep on the hour I last slept...

Have you ever reset your schedule military style? On the one hand, it's murder, on the other, it worked for me to get up at 5.30 am with some really important tests. That is only useful if it is your schedule, though. There's a list of reasons why you might get stuck, and they vary over time... but unless it's, for example, hormonal, like with women in menopause, you're best off cycling through your options.

So If it's an hour like 3 am, it's most likely to be your schedule. If you drop dead from exhaustion and not tiredness, you can't reset yourself from your 5-7 am habit until you remove some stressors. That's been it in general, anyway, with my psychatrist. Even if it's not stress, you could literally have a defect mechanism. But what you can do really depends on the underlying reasons. E.g. It's not my schedule right now, so all attempts of a "reset" have been ineffective.

I'm just not sleeping for 2-3 days straight and then drop for 15 hours. Not at an consistent hour, either. Might be 1. am, or pm. As if you've forgotten how to sleep, even with all systems dead set on it. Meaning sleeping medication in a week, which will have horrible side effects as always. You might need it too, if that's the issue. Or a new one...

This has been an unwanted presentation by spacecat on the three primary ways your body might attempt to murder you. 

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