oh ok wow this goes really deep.
assuming you ARE serious, which I haven't even questioned it up until this point, it's probably best for me to still assume that you are.
with that out of the way, lets get to number 2, a new problem has arisen with colors themselves bringing sadness. so I have a question, what types of green bring you sad?
YES
YES YES YES EYS YES YES!
I know you feel really sad but for me to know you're getting help makes me really happy.